"Thanks and thanks again to Him who offers to the man whom the sorrows of life have assaulted and left naked–offers to him the fig leaf of the Word with which he can cover his wretchedness." -Søren Kierkegaard

Caught With Contraband

Posted in Day-To-Day, Travel by matt on Wednesday, January 16, 2013

A photo of shady-looking green tea and protein powder from a recent trip.

For some reason, the customs guy REALLY didn’t like my green tea and protein powder. =)

 

Celebrating Three Years Of Marital Bliss

Posted in Family by matt on Friday, December 30, 2011

Yay, marriage!

Grrr, marriage!

What can I say about being married to Cayla? I am a Shakespearean cliche; the most blessed, fortunate, silly man imaginable. Cayla has walked with (and even occasionally dragged) me into a deeper understanding of GOD and His call to live and love fully, and I can’t believe I get to be married to her.

Many of you contributed a lot to getting and keeping us married–thank you! The council and example of our families, and the encouragement we’ve received from friends along the way has been invaluable.

Praise GOD for his constant kindnesses to us. May He continue to use this gift of marriage to make us into the likeness of Jesus for years to come.

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Moose

Posted in Day-To-Day by matt on Tuesday, November 16, 2010

This is Moose. You’ve probably heard us talk about this particular housemate, so I thought I’d tell you a little about him. The verdict’s still out on how I feel about Moose. He may look sad and pathetic (which he is), but don’t let those big baleful yellow eyes fool you. Moose is about as sweet as a goat.

He. Eats. Everything.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a list of things Moose has eaten:

rocks, logs, catfood, full family sized bag of Rolos, used Q-tips, an entire loaf of banana bread, hot chocolate, a duck, coke, Tabasco Sauce, Burger King, peanut butter, metal house siding, lots of stuffed animals, a squeaky toy, one of his collars, a whole tray of roasted veggies (he left the brussels sprouts), entire tennis balls, the Arby’s #1 value meal, half a bag of almonds, cowboy boots, a couple bars of dark chocolate, tree branches, one of Cayla’s wooden spoons, a large part of a fence, coffee grounds, Taco Bell, pecans (upon inspection, it didn’t seem like they’d been chewed at all), several loaves of regular bread, and that’s only the stuff we’re aware of.

Needless to say, this dog eats when he’s bored. Cayla may never forgive him for eating an entire loaf of her banana bread, but I did manage to snap this rare shot of her trying to impersonate him. Yay for reconciliation.

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Good Ideas From A Closet Genius

Posted in Day-To-Day by matt on Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Little did you know that I’m a closet genius.

When I was 2 years old our cat climbed into an old truck engine and got diced up. Dad turned the ignition, there was a horrible squeal, and the leftovers hobbled off into the woods.

It lived, though, and I salvaged its tail a few weeks later in a ditch near our house.

Now, a normal person would have thought, “Sick! A fuzzy amorphous thing that shouldn’t be touched by any living thing!”

But I was all like, “This must be Lovey’s (our cat’s name) tail! I’ll put it back on!”

So, in true closet-genius form, I proceeded to do just that. I got things set up in our living room, and went to ask my Mom if she’d like to be my lab assistant (just to make her feel good, ya know).

She wasn’t onboard.

She screamed something about “GET THAT THING OFF MY CARPET!” or something. I wasn’t listening.

I coulda fixed the cat with a little help from her, but she obviously wasn’t quite a closet genius.

*sigh* – what can ya do?

Or (just in case that didn’t convince you) in the 4th grade I attached a toothbrush to a toothpaste tube that allowed the paste to flow up through the brush’s stem and directly into the bristles, so, instead of having to – well, it’s complicated and I don’t expect you to understand, but you get the idea: closet genius.

But marrying Cayla was probably the best idea I’ve ever had.

I’m sure some of you girls just made that weird “awwww” sound in the back of your throats that only girls can make, but I’m not being sentimental – totally serious here.

Let me give you a practical example. Compare the picture of me about 14 months ago (left) with the picture of me taken the other day (right):

  

(B) Me at 202 lbs.

(A) Me at 176 lbs.

Apart from the awkward crotch-bulge, observe photo (A) closely.

I look terrible.

I’m so skinny that my shorts are collapsing in on me and my chest is caving in – I’m a human black hole! Cayla calls this strange person ‘refugee Matt’. I could’ve shaved my head and been Smeagol for Halloween.

Like so many Americans, I just couldn’t seem to keep or gain weight, which was bewildering considering how many tiny bowls of white rice and noodles I ate each day.

And I just…forgot to eat some days. But I’m a closet genius, so I’m sure I was doing something much more important than providing my body with sustenance.

But now I’m on the ‘Cayla Plan’ and I’ve gained 26 lbs! Now I can climb the steps to the sky train without almost passing out, and I don’t even get faint when walking in the sun – it’s great!

And I don’t forget to eat anymore, since she’s there to cram me full of all kinds of vitamins, food and nasty fish-oil gunk.

I’m sure by now you understand that I truly am a closet genius, so I won’t waste anymore time providing examples. I mean, just take one more look at the pictures and do the math.

(Picture A) + (the Cayla Plan) = (Picture B)

Best idea I ever had.

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A Tribute to My Least Favorite Actor

Posted in Day-To-Day by matt on Monday, January 4, 2010

This is hilarious.

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