"Thanks and thanks again to Him who offers to the man whom the sorrows of life have assaulted and left naked–offers to him the fig leaf of the Word with which he can cover his wretchedness." -Søren Kierkegaard

Lessons In Affection And Kurdish Bromance

Posted in Day-To-Day, Friends by matt on Monday, October 3, 2011

My friend, Bezhan.

Here, men and women can’t openly date the way they can in the West. Instead they have clandestine relationships maintained by texting or messaging on Facebook, but that’s even a cause for caution since romantic relationships could bring shame to the family.

I’ve even heard of a Facebook group called “A Moment for Love” where Kurdish couples go to chat and post syrupy poetry inside photoshopped pictures of hearts. I’m inclined to mock, but, when you can’t go public, I guess cheesy Facebook love is all you’ve got. When I got here someone told me that you knew a Kurdish guy was comfortable with you once he shared about his secret girlfriend.

On the other hand, men have no problem showing affection to one another. I’ve been on outings with Kurdish guys here that felt more like a date than some of the outings I go on with my own wife.

Men here kiss (on the cheek), go on long walks arm-in-arm, buy each other meals and movie tickets, and it’s all completely platonic! I even like it (most of the time).

Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m meeting two Kurdish friends for a lunch-date.

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