"Thanks and thanks again to Him who offers to the man whom the sorrows of life have assaulted and left naked–offers to him the fig leaf of the Word with which he can cover his wretchedness." -Søren Kierkegaard

Hot-tubs, Senior Adults, and Hummingbirds

Posted in Day-To-Day by matt on Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Last weekend I decided to spend most of Friday and all of Saturday out at my grandparent’s ranch. It’s only about a 45 minute drive and it always ends up being worth the trip – particularly because of the company, food, and peaceful quiet. After mowing a few acres of land Papaw and Mamaw decided they felt like getting in the hot-tub to relax. Papaw tossed me a pair of obscenely short shorts and some whitey-tidies (it’s been nothing but boxers for almost a decade now…wasn’t quite sure what to do) and asked me to join them.

Moral of the story: if you ever get a chance to climb into a hot-tub with old people I would highly recommend it. It was hilarious. A sample of our conversation (and keep in mind that these are not really separate statements, they actually are this random):

Mamaw – “Oh look! a Red-Breasted Ringneck Dove!”

Me – “Are you serious or did you just make that up?”

Papaw – “Uh oh Mama, look at all the bubbles your grandson’s making. He may need to get out to go potty. Dumbcluck!”

Me – “…”

Mamaw – “Wow look at all that hair Matthew has on his legs! Papaw all your hair fell out a long time ago. Papaw, why are you bobbing up and down in the water?”

Papaw – “I don’t weigh enough to stay anchored. Every time I breath in my whole body floats to the top…doesn’t make much sense considering I’ve barely got half a lung.”

Me – “You guys want me to turn the jets on?”

Mamaw – “Oooo ya let’s do that I can’t relax unless I’ve got something to do.”

Papaw – “Ooooohhhh that’s nice…that’s hitting the good spot…right where my appendix used to be…”

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  1. mab said, on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Oh my stinkin’ goodness! This was hilarious! Next time I’m bored I’m going to join Mamaw and Papaw for some hot-tubbin.

    But I’ll bring my own suit.

    And, what does this mean that we lived in Central Asia together for 3 months and I never knew of your blog? Hmmm? I shall get even with you by telling you that I’m about to eat a Magnum and you can’t. So there.

    Glad to find the blog! :)


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