Hot-tubs, Senior Adults, and Hummingbirds

Last weekend I decided to spend most of Friday and all of Saturday out at my grandparent’s ranch. It’s only about a 45 minute drive and it always ends up being worth the trip – particularly because of the company, food, and peaceful quiet. After mowing a few acres of land Papaw and Mamaw decided they felt like getting in the hot-tub to relax. Papaw tossed me a pair of obscenely short shorts and some whitey-tidies (it’s been nothing but boxers for almost a decade now…wasn’t quite sure what to do) and asked me to join them.

Moral of the story: if you ever get a chance to climb into a hot-tub with old people I would highly recommend it. It was hilarious. A sample of our conversation (and keep in mind that these are not really separate statements, they actually are this random):

Mamaw – “Oh look! a Red-Breasted Ringneck Dove!”

Me – “Are you serious or did you just make that up?”

Papaw – “Uh oh Mama, look at all the bubbles your grandson’s making. He may need to get out to go potty. Dumbcluck!”

Me – “…”

Mamaw – “Wow look at all that hair Matthew has on his legs! Papaw all your hair fell out a long time ago. Papaw, why are you bobbing up and down in the water?”

Papaw – “I don’t weigh enough to stay anchored. Every time I breath in my whole body floats to the top…doesn’t make much sense considering I’ve barely got half a lung.”

Me – “You guys want me to turn the jets on?”

Mamaw – “Oooo ya let’s do that I can’t relax unless I’ve got something to do.”

Papaw – “Ooooohhhh that’s nice…that’s hitting the good spot…right where my appendix used to be…”